How to keep your self-promises and enhance your self-confidence

By Mark Guilbert

Dear Friend,

At the beginning of each year many people decide to make their “New Years Resolutions,” which may include giving up smoking, to stop drinking alcohol and to get themselves in shape. However, three or four weeks later they slowly see that they’re returning to their “old” patterns of action and can’t follow through on those self-promises that they once made. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever asked yourself why you couldn’t turn those wishes into reality? Well, here’s something to think about: When you set a goal, what you’re really doing is making a promise – not to me, your family or your friends but to yourself. And the promises we make to ourselves, although they are the “easiest” to break, are by far the most important ones to honour. You see, the very essence of confidence is self-trust.

Would you trust anyone who repeatedly lied to you? Of course you wouldn’t. So, if you’ve developed a pattern of not honouring self-promises, this is a great time to make a change. If you can’t honour, trust and depend on yourself, well…that may be the root of a lot of the challenges in your life – a lot more than you realize.

The thing about lying to ourselves is we never, never get away with it. We may fool our conscious mind into ignoring or not admitting what we’re doing, but deep down, in the place where all truth resides for each of us, in the place where we know and see ourselves as we really are – in that place we are causing pain and damage every time we’re not totally honest with ourselves. Lie to yourself often enough and your self-trust – your confidence – will fade away. Into that emptiness will seep uncertainty, anxiety and guilt, which are the greatest forms of human sabotage.

Therefore, we need to set up a simple strategy that will improve our self-confidence on a daily basis. Yes, daily basis. You must nourish your self-esteem everyday just like you must nourish your body with the right food. So, I will briefly explain to you the 5 daily achievements strategy that will empower your self-confidence everyday.

Step One

5 daily achievements: Everyday, whether it’s first thing in the morning or last thing at night before you go to bed, write down 5 things that you want to accomplish by the same time the following day. Be specific; however keep it simple but not as simple as waking up in the morning! Make sure the 5 things will challenge you yet you know that you can accomplish them.

Step Two

Prioritize the 5 achievements: I’m sure many of you have already written a “To Do” list, however, “To Do” lists are normally listed in order of which things we prefer to do rather than the important things we should do.

Therefore, when you write down your 5 goals for the day, write down the thing that you would most unlikely accomplish first and the most natural thing that you would do last on the list. For example, exercise is a natural thing for me to do everyday, therefore, I always put exercise N°5 on my list of daily achievements. For you, exercise may be the most unlikely thing that you want to accomplish, therefore, put it first on your list and more importantly, do it!

Step Three

Honour your self-promises: Steps one and two are meaningless unless you act upon what you’ve written down. If you say you are going to the gym today or do that pile of ironing that has been piling up for the past three weeks, then do it! When you do, you will have a deep feeling of joy and self-satisfaction, which will empower you to accomplish your next objective.

Step Four

Play a game you can win: I see many people who try to play a game they can’t win, in other words they write down goals that are not realistically achievable or because they are searching for perfection. No one wants to play a game they can’t win! This will only dishearten your spirit and remember, perfection doesn’t exist, it’s an illusion! Therefore, set yourself goals that are challenging yet attainable so you may let yourself feel that powerful, peaceful sense of pride and joy which no one can ever take away.

So don’t be like most people who will never ever begin to harness their true potential. What these people don’t realise is that if they aren’t focused on their futures – if they’re not consciously creating their lives – then they’re living accidentally, not intentionally. They’re merely reacting to life. Don’t let that happen to you, honour your self-promises and nourish your mind with positive, uplifting images…it works wonders for me!

Wishing you a very healthy existence!

Mark Guilbert (M.Dip. PTST)